i came out tonight to get attacked and honestly i am having such a fun time right now
my dad just got a goat
“chuffed doesnt mean what you think it means”
it means exactly what i think it means its just some stupid word that literally has two definitions that mean the opposite thing
what in the shit pissing fuck
This makes me really chuffed.
This post is quite egregious
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
Retail space beside Bob’s Burgers
my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out “Do you need to use the sleep?”
and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered
"Maybe i need to use the sleep"
Let’s go on an adventure.
this is beautiful